I felt defeated all weekend.
Not the dramatic kind of defeated. It was the quiet kind that settles in around Saturday afternoon and follows you around the house. More accidents. More attitudes. Not listening, fighting, everyone melting down at once, including me.
If you’ve ever ended a weekend thinking I am so tired, and I don’t know if I’m doing any of this right, this post is for you.
The part I don’t talk about much…
My twins are 4, and for over a year now we’ve been dealing with chronic constipation (sorry if this is TMI, I really think it is a VERY common problem among kids that no one wants to talk about). It’s a withholding issue, and it has made potty training so much harder than I ever imagined. We’ve even had to see a GI specialist. Things have improved, and I’m so thankful for that, but we still have a long way to go.
It effects everything. Weekends are when I’d love to load everyone up and go do something fun, but a day out is ten times harder when you’re planning around bathroom trips and accidents. So sometimes we stay home because I’m exhausted. And then I feel guilty about staying home.
That’s the cycle: tired, then guilty, then tired again.
The question I kept asking myself…
For a long time, I blamed myself. Did I push potty training too early? What did I do wrong? What kind of mom causes this?
Here’s what I finally had to tell myself, and what I’ll tell you if you’re in your own version of this: you didn’t cause it. This is a physical struggle my kids are working through, not a report card on my mothering. Giving myself that grace was hard, but it changed how I showed up for them.
If you’re wondering what you did wrong, please hear me. Motherhood is hard enough without carrying blame that was never yours.
Where I turn when I’m running on empty
I’d love to tell you I handle it all with patience and a smile. I don’t. What I do is lean on Jesus, and I can say honestly that He is what has pulled me through this past year.
There’s a verse I hold onto on the hardest days:
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23, NIV)
New every morning. On the days when I go to bed feeling like I failed, that phrase is a lifeline. Yesterday’s accidents, yesterday’s attitudes, yesterday’s short temper: none of it follows me into today. I get a fresh start, and so do my kids.
Some days my prayer is long and thoughtful. Other days it’s just, “Lord, I can’t do this on my own.” Every time, He meets me there. He hasn’t fixed everything overnight, but He gives me strength for the next hour, the next diaper change, the next deep breath before I answer a whining little voice with kindness instead of frustration.
Finding joy inside the hard stuff
Here’s what I’m learning: joy doesn’t wait until everything is smooth. Most days it sits right in the middle of the mess, and I only see it when I slow down enough to look.
Because right in the middle of the hard, the sweetest things happen. I hear one of those little voices say, “I love you, mama,” or “Mama! You look beautiful,” and my heart melts every time. They are truly some of my biggest fans.
Moments like that don’t erase the hard parts. But they remind me why I keep showing up. I’m raising two little people who are learning, growing, and working through something difficult, and they have a mom who is learning right alongside them.
A few things that help me find joy when I’m worn out:
- Lower the bar on the “fun.” A day at home in pajamas with a movie and snacks still counts. Staying home doesn’t make me a failure.
- Celebrate the tiny wins. A successful potty trip, a kind word between siblings, a bedtime without tears. Those are worth noticing.
- Let go of the guilt. Rest is not laziness. Sometimes the most loving thing I can do for my family is take a breath.
- Start and end with prayer. Even thirty seconds changes my whole outlook.
If you’re in the middle of it too
I don’t know what your hard looks like right now. Maybe it’s potty training, sleepless nights, a strong-willed toddler, or a season that has simply worn you thin. Whatever it is, I want you to know two things.
You are not doing it wrong. And you don’t have to carry it alone.
The weekend may have felt heavy, but a new week is here, and His compassions are new every morning. Take the grace He offers, and look for the joy hiding in the ordinary.
You’ve got this, and you’ve got Him.
Have you walked through a hard season with your little ones? I’d love to hear from you in the comments. You never know who needs to hear that they’re not alone.
